Sleep overs

Just got in an argument with my daughter who thinks it is perfectly reasonable to spend three nights at various friend's houses (has nothing to do with winter recess - this is a recurring problem). I prefer to have her at home most of the nights (one night a week she could have a sleep over). I'm thinking a thirteen-year-old ought to spend most of the nights at home. She thinks she is always with us and should be allowed to spend more time with her friends (mind you, she's with her friends at school after school and most of weekend days).

Any thoughts?

Communications with other parents

We like to know that an adult (preferably a parent) will be around the home of any friend our daughter goes to hang out in. Despite attending PTA potlucks, etc. I have never met several of her friends' parents so we call to introduce ourselves and check in. My daughter says we are the most old-fashioned, uncool parents on earth. I don't relish making the call as I feel awkward, especially when the parent that I contact doesn't seem to share our desire to have made contact. To be fair, one parent I spoke to was pleased to hear from me - glad to know and for her kids to know that she wasn't the only one who had rule of not hanging out with no adults at home. But we didn't discuss how she checks in with her kids' friends' parents. Love to hear what others do.

When to intervene

When your child tells you things about her friend that sounds an alarm, what do you do?

I know that kids make up stories about themselves sometimes or exaggerate (did I spell that right??). I also know my child is telling me things confidentially and does not expect me to repeat what she tells me to anyone else. Should I talk to the guidance counselor? Should I talk to the parent directly?

Hanging out in Central Park

How do you all feel about a small group of 8th graders hanging out in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon without an adult? I would not have dreamed of allowing such a thing when she was younger (as in 6th grade), but now she is more self "sufficient." I'm OK with it so long as she stays in well populated areas, but I'm not sure if I'm not being smart.

Meeting PS11's PTA President

Tomorrow morning, Shino and I will be meeting with the PTA president of PS 11, the elementary school we share our building with. If anyone has any concerns or questions they would like us to address with her, please let either of us know.

Feel free to spread the word

Please feel free to send me names of others who might be interested in joining -- but I want to restrict it to Clinton Parents at this point.

I find that the more perspectives I can get on a particular issue, the better I am able to come up with my own set of guidelines for my daughter. So, more the merrier!

Ground Rules

In order to protect our children's privacy and remain civil, here are some rules.

The primary purpose of this blog is to help each other. Some griping is OK (because we all need to vent) but sharing ideas and offering support are the main goal.

No real names of children.

Swear words are OK but offensive comments are not.

Don't be judgmental. Respect that every family has its own philosophy. What works for one family doesn't necessary make it good for another.

Don't blame others (if you follow someone's advice and it doesn't work, well, tough going).

If anyone is offensive more than three times, s/he is out!

Happy sharing!